Fear: it can take you away from your dreams only if you let it.
How often do you feel afraid of something? How often do you experience fear? What does it do to you? Do you experience it in some areas of your life? We all experience fear on a daily basis in different degrees.
Fear doesn’t discriminate, it impacts all people, a child, a teen, an old man, a police officer, a surgeon in Japan, the postman anyone anywhere in the world is impacted by it. So why do we experience fear? Is it really negative? What can we do about it?
Fear does serve a purpose, it actually is very beneficial to all sentient beings not only human beings. It is a condition of the mind. Without the ability to feel fear we would most probably cease to exist. From a biological context, fear is very useful. It actually assists us to learn from our mistakes and as a result is increases our chances of survival. It has the power to protect us and save us from danger or possible threat. Even so, in today’s world, the number of physical threats that can really harm us is much lesser than what it used to be back countless years ago. Today, it is very unlikely that a hangry lion will be hunting its prey in a shopping center. However, fear still has such an uncontrolled and powerful impact on people in modern society.
“Remember, no human condition is ever permanent. Then you will not be overjoyed in good fortune nor too scornful in misfortune.” ~ Socrates
Fear can be uncomfortable and even crippling for some people. Fear can take us away from living the life we dream of living. Some people may even pretend their fear isn’t really there but, pretending does not change the way we feel. People spend all their energy to pretend things are fine and their true feelings below the surface they feel exhausted and tired. This becomes energy wasted, they can use this energy to start creating a life they love and feel alive in doing so. There are many strategies people use to pretend their fear isn’t there. Some use mood altering chemicals such as food, alcohol, drugs and some may keep themselves busy or distracted by excessive shopping, binge-watching tv shows or movies. The aim should be learning how to be with your fear and managing it. Being fearless doesn’t actually mean you eliminate it as this is impossible to do. Being fearless means learning to be with your fear, experiencing your fear and having the courage to take the actions you need to take regardless of your fear.
“All problems become smaller when you confront them instead of dodging them.” ~ William F. Halsey
What is the impact of fear?
Living in the space of fear and having a fearful mentality can create many situations which in fact are by-products of fear. Some of these by-products are procrastination: postponing something, staying in bad relationships, staying in a job you are miserable in, spending more than you can, being dishonest as we are afraid of what might happen if we tell the truth, health problems such as weight and emotional eating. These can cause secondary problems for some people; staying in a job someone is miserable it can cause them to be grumpy and down, as a result, their interaction with their family members or friends can be impacted by this.
Ways we can overcome our fear:
Choose Consciously
The initial step is to make a conscious choice that you have a burning desire to overcome your fears and change the patterns which have been showing up in your life.
Be honest and acknowledge
Always be honest with yourself and acknowledge how you feel, then choose to act in a way which is aligned with your heart and supports the life you want to live.
“Acknowledge your fear and bring it out into the open. Just doing this simple thing will help you be less afraid of it.” ~ Layne Beachley
Take time out
When you are flooded with an overwhelming level of fear, it may not be the right time to think clearly. Find your way of calming down, this may be a cup of tea, some fresh air, deep breathing or relaxing music.
Pause, ask and write
Rather than doing what you find yourself always doing to avoid facing your fear, which is nothing but reactive behaviour, stop, pause and ask yourself ‘what am I really afraid of?”. Get out a notebook and start writing whatever comes to you. Let the page fill up with whatever is there for you. Write your fears down, this action brings them out of hiding and decreases their impact.
Practice
Do something small every day that scares you, but make sure you do this every single day. Once you begin to practice to accept your fears and start to allow its presence, you can build new brain patterns, thoughts, and beliefs that it is actually ok and it is not the end of the world. Slowly but surely, it will gradually become easier to manage your fear. Remember this is a conscious choice that you must make, a choice that you make moment by moment. There may be moments when that choice may be harder to make. Take the actions you need to take. Motivation follows action, once you start which is the hardest part the rest will follow.
Work with a life coach
Work with a great life coach who can assist you to support you and your life. Your life coach is someone who is objective and wants what is best for you and your life based on what you have told them. They can hold you accountable and show you what may be hidden from your view because a coach can see what you can’t see.
The main TAKE AWAY
Fear is never going to go away, we don’t want to eliminate it, we want to learn to be with it and manage it. Always check in with yourself “is my choice or my action based on fear or am I choosing freely?”. “Do these choices or actions assist me in creating the life I want to live, are they aligned with my heart?”