How Words Have the Power to Alter Your Life.
Have you ever been hurt by words? Have those words lived inside your mind for a while refusing to leave? On the flip side, have you ever been so touched by words that they left a mark on your heart and shifted your experience of life?
We use words every day. This is how we communicate, this is how our world works. Whether that is done through talking, texting, reading, writing we are always communicating through our language; our words become sentences and our sentences become paragraphs. Words have the ability to be extremely powerful. We rely on words as human beings generally speaking can’t read minds. Words are used to serve their purpose, we bring out what is inside so that another may understand or help us with our need. It can be so simple as ordering a coffee to something more complex as talking your way through surgery.
Research states that on average people use about 16000 words per day. There has been a stereotype that women are more talkative than men and this has been ingrained into society. However, a study* which was led by Dr. Matthias Mehl, an Associate Professor at the Department of Psychology from the University of Arizona found that there was no significant gender difference whatsoever. So, how do you spend your 16000 words per day? How do the words you hear from others impact you?
Words do have the power to hurt us or others. Words can cause a lot of pain, grief, sorrow, worry and anxiety. Words can have an enormous impact on a person. Many people have experienced situations where certain words have gone over and over through their mind. The pain is relived each time by recreating the experience by thinking the thoughts over and over again. We struggle in these moments to stop the thinking, it is this incessant thinking that plays over and over and over again taking a piece of us each time. Sometimes you are reading words that one has said to another. Sometimes we may say words which we have later regretted. There are times when we don’t check in with ourselves and see if our words have gone through a filter and we talk without being present or thinking.
Let’s not forget about the words we say to ourselves. Generally speaking, those are the ones which can be the harshest. These words are there all the time ready to fire off especially when we make a mistake, when we feel pressure or even when we feel vulnerable.
People have written about The Three Gates of Speech many times; some people have attributed them to Rumi and others to Buddha, they are both amazing people of history. The three gates of speech suggest that before you speak, let your words pass through these three gates:
- At the first gate, ask yourself “Is it true?”
- At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?”
- At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?”
If you are using the three gates of speech to filter your words, it is also important to be a clear stand for what words you will allow others to use when talking to you. You can use the three gates of speech when someone is saying something hurtful to you by asking yourself the three questions. Is it true? Is it necessary that I do something with these words? Is it kind?
Words, on the other hand, can heal; heal a broken heart, heal a lost soul, empower the disempowered, inspire action, motivate the unmotivated. It comes down to one thing, one word actually and that is “choice”. What do you choose to make the words mean? Will they be words which hurt you, cause you to stress or worry, disempower you, motivate you, inspire you or heal you.
Here are 10 quotes by an amazing Poet named Rumi. His words which are powerful, have the power to heal, inspire, empower and motivate people and this was his purpose in life. While reading them pause for a few seconds between each one and see what opens up for you.
- “Ignore those that make you fearful and sad.” ~ Rumi
- “Remember, the entrance door to the sanctuary is inside you.” ~ Rumi
- “Live life as if everything is rigged in your favor.” ~ Rumi
- “Your heart knows the way, run in that direction.” ~ Rumi
- “Everyone has been made for some particular work and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.” ~ Rumi
- “If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?” ~ Rumi
- “These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them.” ~ Rumi
- “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” ~ Rumi
- “Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life.” ~ Rumi
- “As you start to walk on the way, the way appears.” ~ Rumi
Practice choosing, don’t let words bring you down. Know that you always have a choice. We may become automatic and function on autopilot after a while, however deep inside there, there is a gap in time, it may be small but it is there. Pause. Don’t rush. And choose. Choose freely. What will you make the words mean? And most importantly what will you make the words mean about you?
Which of these did you like the most? Use it, allow it to heal you, empower you, motivate you, inspire you to be the person you desire to be.
* https://ubrp.arizona.edu/study-finds-no-difference-in-the-amount-men-and-women-talk/